18 years

My favorite customer this morning was a woman who had her two daughters with her.  They were probably about 6 and 8 and would wander just a few feet away from their mom to check out the stuffed animals or some of the trinkets around the cash register.  She was visibly frustrated trying to herd them like cats.  The girls were not disruptive and certainly weren't hurting anything so I smiled and told the mom that although I could certainly relate to her frustration, try to remember we only get 18 Very Short Years.  We chatted about how life moves so fast and the normal everyday stuff gets in the way of remembering to savor the magical (that also happens everyday).  She took a breath and said "Thank You, I needed that."

This afternoon at Target I saw a couple of blonde headed little boys exploring the shelves and heard their dad an aisle over calling them back to him.  When I turned the corner, the two boys were with their dad along with an older brother AND the dad was pushing a double stroller that held newborn twins, one boy, one girl.  I commented about her being the only girl and he smiled and told me her older sister was in another part of the store with mom.  Wow!  I tried to do the math... seven? No, six.  Dad smiled at the babies in the stroller and said "They were a surprise.".  I laughed and commented that one is a surprise, two is a shock!  He responded by saying one was a surprise, two was an even sweeter surprise.   

Not everyone is meant to be a parent but I'm certain it is exactly what I was meant to be.  My two girls remind me to see the wonder and magic in everyday life.  They fascinate me.  They confuse me.  They frustrate me.  They amaze me.

My oldest is on the threshold of 18.  How the hell did that happen??  Seriously.  Yesterday she was a short little toddler with big blue eyes and the prettiest blonde ringlets.  She was sassy, smart, and sweet.  She loved animals, french fries, and chocolate.  Did I mention she was stubborn?  Way more stubborn than anyone I had ever met in my lifetime.  I wasn't sure what to do with all that fire in her eyes.  One minute she was the most loving little girl wrapping me in a big hug.  The next she was throwing a tantrum complete with kicking and screaming.  I would just shut her door and let her squeal which only made her even more mad.  I read parenting books about "high spirited" children and talked to my mom about my sister who was a bit high spirited herself.  But only experience taught me how to handle this little hurricane I was given to raise.  It only took me 17 and 1/2 years but I've got her all figured out now.... just in time for her to take that free independent sassy spirit into the real world and start figuring it out on her own.  Oh, I'll never stop being her mom.  I'll always be here anytime she needs me and I'm certainly not packing her bags and throwing her out anytime soon.  But the raising part?  That's about done.  She is who she is and I learned a long time ago I couldn't stop that strong will no matter what I did or said. She is still every bit of who she was when she was little but now she speaks German instead of Whinese.
I pray I've taught her kindness and compassion above all.  I pray that she and I will always be close no matter where her free spirit takes her.   Mostly I hope she knows I gave her (and will always give her) my best. 

My youngest is 10.  We still have a few years of figuring each other out.  She is right on the edge of bouncing between Sweet and Eye roll.  At 10 she is taller than I ever hoped to be at that age and will soon outgrow my shoe size.  She is a lover of Minecraft, LEGOs, lizards and Harry Potter. Oh and fedora hats!  She has one for every day of the week.  Although the teen years are fast approaching, I hope to have an easier time with her.  She is a redhead which automatically gives her some spunk and sass but she is much less obstinate than her older sister.  The stubborn streak is there but the iceberg melts a little faster.  We are constantly learning how to communicate.  She is learning to trust that maybe I really was 10 once and can somewhat understand what she's feeling.  I am learning to be very patient as she tries to figure out all the new feelings that pre-teens have to deal with.  While my oldest is the hurricane, this kid is more like a supercell thunderstorm.  Its sunny one moment, the skies turn dark, there is some thunder, lightning, high winds and a downpour... and then you get the rainbow.   When those storms come in the next few years I need to remind myself to watch for the rainbow.

18 years goes by in such a flash.  You can tell any new parent that but they won't believe you until their own kid is 6 months away from legal adulthood.  The messy faces, the endless laundry, the temper tantrums, the teenage angst, the not so great report card grades, the scolding, the tears (mom and child!)... all gone in a flash.  None of that will matter in the end.  The hugs, the tea parties, the snuggles, the lullabies, the talks in the car when the kids think you are just making conversation but you are secretly trying to teach them something, the field trips, the giggles, the walks around the neighborhood, more hugs and snuggles... that's what you remember.  After 18 years that's what will make you smile when the house is too quiet.  The love.  In the end that's all parenting really is.  Endless Unconditional Love. 

"Life is short"

Life is short.  Lately it seems that's an understatement.  I am now of the age where people around me are starting to lose their parents.  Sometimes a parent loses a child.  And yesterday a dear classmate lost his brother who graduated just a year behind us. He was full of life and had a smile that could light up heaven. Death is a part of life.  We all know that none of us will get out of here alive. But when there is a sudden loss as in the case of my classmate, it weighs heavily on me and makes me take stock in whether I'm truly living each day as fully as I can.  Some days are filled with wild adventures but others are just filled with hours of TV.  There are days when I'm just plain tired.  Can it be said on those days I'm fully living?  What about the days when my girls want to do something fun and I say no because there is laundry and housework to be done.  If I said yes all the time we'd be naked and covered in cobwebs, right?  Where is the balance? 

My life has been filled with many adventures.  I haven't climbed any mountains but I've gotten married at the Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus.  I haven't swum with sharks but I've partied with Cybill Shepherd.  I've snuggled with Bill Cosby, been to the top of the Empire State Building, seen almost everyone I'd want to see in concert, been to Mardi Gras twice, Jazz Fest once and I'm about to attend CMA Music Fest for the second time.  I've never been to Europe but I got engaged in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I may never see Australia but I've been to 30 something of the 50 states, including Hawaii.  I haven't met a Kennedy but I've performed at Kennedy Center (with my high school choir but hey...).   I've never met Harry Connick Jr. but I've hugged his dad.  I've planned two very successful high school reunions and I'm in touch with most of my class albeit via Facebook.  Elvis died before I was old enough to meet him but I've been to Graceland at least four times and love to attend the Candlelight Vigil every year my schedule permits. 

I've been deeply loved and have had my heart broken more than once.  I have friends I've known since I was a toddler and made a new friend last week.  My family is close and I talk to my mom and siblings often.  I know that isn't the case with a lot of families.  I have a husband whom I adore and I'm pretty sure he likes me most days.  I have two beautiful daughters who drive me crazy and make me proud all in the same heartbeat.  I have a job that I truly love and have only had two jobs in my entire career that I didn't feel that way about. 

I'll be 42 in two weeks.  I've done a lot in 42 years and as I sit here and think about it all, I'd say I've lived quite a full life... full of laughter, full of friendship, full of adventure and spontaneity, and most of all full of love.  We don't know what tomorrow will bring but I hope in 42 more years I can write another blog post or whatever is in fashion then and reflect on how much more I've experienced. 

Life is short.  Make the most of it that you can, even when there is laundry to be done.  Make room for the mundane but also don't miss out on the magical.  Try new foods because taste buds change (something my 8 year old continually reminds me).  Go see a movie you haven't even seen a preview of - surprise yourself.  When you see a familiar face, figure out where you know them from and go say hello.  Its how I met my husband... we talked three separate times, each a month apart, before exchanging names.  If something breaks, repair it if you can but don't put too much energy into it.  Stuff is stuff.  Relationships are the things you should spend time dusting off, repairing if needed, and cherishing continually.  When you are in a moment, "Make a Memory".  Its something my mom taught me and I hope I'm passing on to my girls.  Life is short but its also full.  Listen to the rain, look for the rainbow.  Smile at strangers. Be who you are and not who you think you should be.  Its very freeing.  We all have so much to offer this world and we need to learn to appreciate our differences more instead of judging and trying to change each other.  I'm not a huge John Mayer fan but he's right - say what you need to say.

My Boyfriend's Back

This is my friend Randy.  We have been friends for half my life, before both of us were married, before we both had kids.  He started out as my co-worker and quickly became my best friend, dancing partner, protector, and yes, boyfriend.  Its a term we've used for 20 years and neither of our spouses care so it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks.  We've been through weddings, births, and even a couple of funerals together.  He goes months without calling but when we see each other again its as if no time has passed.  We've never been single at the same time but his mom swears if we ever were we'd end up together.  I beg to differ... I'm not as strong willed and stubborn as his beautiful wife Melissa and that's the kind of woman he needs.  However, I do love him unconditionally (even when he teaches my kids some choice words I'd rather they not know) and he feels the same about me.  We have had many adventures together and I hope we have at least another 30 years to make new memories.  I hate that the miles separate us but love that we make the most of our time together.

Its a Boy!

"A Baby is God's Way of saying the world should go on."

I was witness to a beautiful event tonight.  Well, not the actual birth part but the labor and the afterglow of welcoming a new member into the family.  I met her at the hospital just to get checked out because she wasn't sure it was really time yet.  Oh, it was time!  I sat with her while she labored and just as she was going through the worst of it and wanting the dad, the hospital room door swung open and there he was, just like in the movies.   Her parents and older daughter came up to wait along with the daddy's family and I sat with them, all of us anxiously checking our watches every five minutes. They didn't know beforehand if it was a boy or a girl and that made the waiting room excitement all that more, well, exciting!  Finally the moment arrived and the big double doors opened to a beaming Daddy who said "Its a Boy!"  My sweet best friend gave birth to a beautiful, perfect baby boy.  His name is Eric which means Peaceful Ruler. 

 Oh how I adore baby feet. 

"Life is a Special Occassion"

Most of you know I have my dream job... working for Hallmark.   My name is Betsey and I'm a Hallmark-aholic.  I'm about to celebrate my one year anniversary at the company although I've worked at two separate retail stores.  The customers at any store however are the same - they are all just looking for some way to make an ordinary moment special.  That's where I come in.  I get to spend my days helping people pick out just the perfect card for a sick co-worker or just the right thank you gift for nurses who took care of a sick husband in the hospital.  Its very gratifying to go home knowing I made a difference... or at least tried.

Hallmark's new media campaign is Life is a Special Occassion.  I have long believed that is true.   I just wanted to take a minute and share with you some of the Hallmark moments that make going to work a true joy for me.
 
One especially touching moment came when a woman needed help picking out a birthday card for her ex husband.  She had a few specifications which included not too mushy, not too simple, and nothing that talked about birthdays in the future.  You see, this would be his last birthday.  He was in Hospice and the family was getting together that weekend to celebrate him before it was too late.  She was not invited to the gathering though as the new wife had forbidden her to see him.   Its amazing what you can find out about someone in just a few minutes if you take the time to listen.  We searched several cards and finally found the perfect one.  It was a beautiful card that spoke of how he had touched so many people in his life and how she just wanted to let him know she was one of those people.  It was a sale that ended with a hug.

In my job we are supposed to walk the customer to the section of cards they are looking for.  A man came in one day needing an anniversary card for his wife.  I started to walk him over to those cards when I noticed a woman standing by just that section with a very surprised look on her face.  Turns out they were married to each other!  We all had a great laugh and they decided to go to lunch together instead of shop for cards.  So, I didn't sell anything but it was worth getting a glimpse of this couple's life and knowing they would most likely have many more happy years together.

Last week a woman came in and purchased one of our Disney plaques that featured one of Walt Disney's most famous quotes,  "If you can dream it, you can do it".   She picked it up so quickly I asked her if there was a significance to the purchase.   She told me that her 7 year old granddaughter had a dream about learning to ride her bike without training wheels.  She told her grandma, "If I dream it, I can do it!".   What a special moment!

A young man named Mario asked for my help finding a few special gifts for his baby sister who was headed off to college.  He had a very small budget to work with but we found some fun things in the clearance section of the store.  By the time he left, he was quite happy with his special gift bag for his very special sister.  His eyes teared up when he thanked us for helping him and told us how very much he was going to miss her.

This job has even brought me three new friends who started out as customers, reunited me with an old school teacher, and most importantly, makes me feel like I'm living my purpose.   I know it sounds silly... I don't make the big bucks, I don't have a college degree, I don't even have benefits since I'm part time.   But to me its not "just" a retail job.  Its a mission if you will - a mission to help others connect, to make memories, to love, to laugh, to heal.

When is the last time you sent a card?  When is the last time you found something in your mailbox with your name on it that wasn't a bill?  There are cards for every occasion you can think of - birthdays of course but also anniversaries, get well, potty training, thinking of you, sympathy, hi / hello, entering the military, going off to college, miss you, congratulations on your job, new house, new pet, even blank cards so you can create your own occasion.  Next time you pass a Hallmark store, stop in.   Make today a special occasion.  Just because you can.  The smile on someone else's face will be well worth your time. 

Self Conscious much?

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission - Eleanor Roosevelt

A friend of mine posted a blog this AM entitled Things I Like About Me.  I thought it was a really neat idea and will probably attempt my own list.  In the meantime though it got me to thinking about my 13 year old and what a miserable time she's having in middle school (according to her).   She has a lot of friends but sees herself as one who really doesn't fit in anywhere.   Thing is, I remember that feeling oh so well.  In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I still feel that way... a lot.   So are she and I oddities or does everyone feel that way for the most part?  Do you feel like you really fit in at your job?  Your church?  In your circle of friends??  Everyone sees me as a very friendly, perky person.  They aren't wrong.   But there are also a lot of times when I feel very alone in a crowd.  Sometimes its on Sunday mornings when the praise band is hanging around the kitchen chomping on donuts.  I've been a part of that group for 2 years now but I still feel like an outsider sometimes.  I know if anyone knew that they would be shocked.  And the above quote reminds me that they aren't the ones doing anything wrong... I'm just too scared to jump into a conversation and "bother" people.   I don't feel like I dress well enough, like my makeup is right, like I don't have half the talent some of my band mates have. I don't start conversations because why would they really care what I did that weekend or what is on sale at Hallmark. 

Insecurity has always been one of my biggest faults.  I know my good qualities but I'm better at seeing the good in others.  I'm never quite sure how people see me.   Don't get me wrong, I'm no wallflower.  I was the biggest fool you've ever seen at CMA Music Fest.  I didn't care what people thought or said about me.   I was there to have a good time and make some great memories and that is exactly what I did!  I wish I could live every day with such wild abandon. 

So, back to the kid... I'm trying to send her quotes every day so that she can think positively and make good choices in friends and just simply learn to love who she is no matter what anyone else thinks.  So as I'm encouraging my child that it gets better and one day she won't feel so awkward, am i doing her a disservice?  Doesn't life always feel like middle school?  Or do we just get to the point where we don't care what others think?  I don't think I'm there yet.   I'm trying to be but sometimes don't do so well with it.  Maybe that happens in your 50's or 60's.   I hope I get there one day.   Really though I'd just be happy if I can fake it well enough to fool my kids and give them hope that it changes eventually.  I so want them to see what beautiful, funny, independent, vivacious, spectacular people they are.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice, please feel free to comment.  Off to play Go Fish and remember when life was so simple.

Reunited and it feels so good

Its been a few months now since my oldest daughter and her younger sister reconnected.  What should have been a very difficult situation has instead turned out to be full of joy.  We expected the girls to need time to get to know each other and planned to ease them into the relationship.  Instead not only have we spent numerous hours as a family but the other mom and I both agree it feels like we've always been in each other's lives.

I've always been fascinated by the stories of adults who find each other after they were separated as children.  All the news stories talk about how they laugh the same, walk the same, even speak in unison.   Here's a great story about long lost siblings. 

The two girls are so very much alike, even though there is a 5 year difference.  I'm so thankful they didn't  have to wait until they were in their 30's or 40's to find each other.  The bonus part of the story is that my 6 year old feels like she gained a sister too.  All three of them talk about their sisters.   There are no halves in this story.  The three of them are whole.  One day the age gap will close and they will be able to enjoy movies and music, and probably theater together.  All three of them are animal lovers with the two older girls wanting to be vets and my youngest, a zoo keeper.  All three of them laugh with abandon.   They scrunch up their faces when they smile.  They talk with their hands.  They love to draw and dance and sing.  I can't wait to see their relationship continue to progress.  It is an adventure of the greatest kind. 

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison

Dateline Nashville - CMA Music Fest 2011 - Day one continued

When we last left our fearless travelers, they had just emerged from the Convention Center after meeting a ridiculous number of people in a ridiculously short amount of time.  The sun was hot and bright as the rays bounced off of the birthday tiara... oh wait, sorry, got a little carried away there.

My friend was right, there is NO way to do everything!  The pure amount of humanity and music and things to do and see is overwhelming.  However we though maybe we would try some of the outside activities before the big concerts that evening.  As we walked down the street we realized we were walking right past one of the most famous buildings in Nashville.  Here is my attempt at a self portrait with that building in the background...

 Yeah, I know... too much me, not enough building.  Any wild guesses??  Ok, I won't leave you in suspense.  Let's try again...

Well at least we got the name of the building in the shot this time!  That's right, the Ryman Auditorium.  On my next (calmer) visit to Nashville, I'd love to see a show here and at the Grand Ole Opry as well.

So we're walking and everytime a path clears these two jump out and start drawing on the sidewalk.   They were from the Chris Young street team.   That guy knows how to market!  You may know Chris as the guy who sings the hit "Tomorrow" with that deep sexy gravely voice of his.  To me he's very Trace Adkins-ish.   I however had the pleasure of meeting him before he even won Nashville Star years ago.   He was in the competition and my hubby and I were having an anniversary dinner at the Alabama Cafe.  I looked over and there he was.  He was very friendly, humble, and um.... yeah... long tall drink of water hot.  See for yourself!

We made our way to the Gildan Fun Zone which was indeed... full of fun.  There were artist signings, concerts, free Ocean Spray, the Hard Rock stage, and restaurants galore.  I'll be darned if I can remember where we ate that day.  Someplace that had an upstairs and I had a really good burger but yeah, couldn't tell you the name of the establishment.  By this time both of us had blisters on our feet and we were hot and tired but pumped up on adrenaline.  I was smart enough to have band aids in my purse so after a quick stop to bandage our poor feet, we trucked on down the road.  In the Fun Zone we met in no particular order...

  The Street Preacher... being from Memphis we see these guys a lot downtown but its mostly one guy.  These guys were a whole tag team.  

 Elvis... didn't I say I was from Memphis?  Elvis is Everywhere! Go ahead, click the link... you know you want to! 

Luke Bryan (shake it for me!)

This band who had just finished a set on the Lay's Main Stage

and of course, my good friend Hootie.  Oh, I mean Darius. He still lets me call him Hootie.

With the night time LP Field concerts gearing up we thought we'd get in line for the convenient free shuttle over to the venue.  We walked and walked and walked and walked until we finally found the end of the line along with a security guard who said in the hour and a half she'd been sitting there, the very same people were standing in the very same spots.  We made an executive decision to walk across the footbridge... I mean, how bad could it be???

One and a half miles with blisters on our feet... but we made it!  At at least it was pretty architecturally.  And look who we found at the end of the path... almost like a leprechaun with a pot of gold!  

As we took this lovely shot, Elvis made sure to whisper in my ear "I do this for tips".  Classy, Elvis, real Classy.

After going through the security line (where they really did turn people away for bringing backpacks), we started the journey to our seats.  We walked and walked and walked and limped and limped and almost got to the point of a crawl when we finally reached the top of LP Field.  Yes, the very tippy top.  We fell into a couple of seats and sighed with relief.  I'm not fond of heights and Mandie is 5'10" so her knees were in her chest but at least we had seats, right??

This was our view.  Thank goodness for zoom lenses and big screens. 

 I love Zac Brown Band on the radio and I've heard good things about seeing them live but I had no idea what a show we were in for!  This guy rocks the house!!!  I will be a forever fan.  And even better... he brings friends!  

Why yes, that IS Randy Travis!

And no, your eyes don't deceive you, that IS Alan Jackson!

Do yourself a favor if you've never given the Zac Brown Band a listen.  You won't regret it.  These boys will be around for a long time to come.  

This kid is Easton Corbin.  You might have heard his hit "I'm a Little More Country Than That".  About the time he came on stage Mandie and I mutually decided we'd be much happier watching from the main level even if we couldn't see much.  We excused ourselves as we crawled over our seatmates and started the long journey down.   We missed seeing Sara Evans as we walked but we could hear her just fine.  Same goes for Jason Aldean whose special guest was Kelly Clarkson.   I did however catch a pic of this guy...

Yeah, that's Ricky Skaggs.  Not a fan of the hair Ricky, but you still sounded good. 

Once we reached the main floor we spent the remainder of the time circling and hoping no one would ask us where we were supposed to be sitting.  Eventually we figured out that hundreds of others seemed to be doing the same.  The tiara got me a lot of birthday wishes and I truly felt like the Belle of the Ball.  The energy was amazing and everyone was just plain nice.  We enjoyed talking to lots of different people and at times even forgot there was a concert going on.

Brad Paisley ended the evening and put on a great show but he was a lot less personable than I imagined him to be.  I chalk it up to him only having so much time allotted to perform.  However he did bring out his own surprise guests... after all, he does have a song about them. 

Won't you play me some Mountain Music, Alabama?

Think we got our $115 worth yet?  Uh, yeah, and so much more!!!  After the music ended we had to hike across the footbridge again but just took it step by step.  Oh yeah, then we had to find our car.  That proved to be quite the challenge but at some point things looked familiar and we found the parking lot we had left what seemed like days ago.  Our plan was to spend the night with a friend who lived about 20 minutes outside of the city.  We gave her a call and she got us on the right road... the very dark road... to her house.  I think I white knuckled it the entire way.   We arrived there around 2am and within minutes were on the phone looking for a hotel in town that had shuttle service.  We learned a lot that first day and the the main lesson was it could have been a lot easier than it was go get around.  Thanks to hotels.com we found the Fairfield Inn and Suites by Opryland.   We were assured there was a shuttle to and from all the activities and booked a room.  I was very thankful my friend understood our reasoning and she was probably relieved we wouldn't be showing up every night at 2am.

This was us... about halfway down from the tippy top of LP Field.  We're still smiling.  Before we went to sleep that night we looked at each other and simultaneously said "there's still three more days of this!"

My Proof there is a God - Part 3

When I wrote the first post with that title, I didn't really intend for it to be a continual thing.  However, life keeps happening and God keeps taking care of it.   Case in point - my husband's car has been in the shop for almost two weeks now.  He needs a new transmission which would be a huge expense for us but thankfully the shop is covering the repair... not due to warranty but due to a bunch of dishonest things they did the first time they fixed his transmission exactly two years ago.  It took several days of moving up the management chain but the financial end of the deal is finally settled.  They offered him a rental car as part of their deal but he turned it down because we had a perfectly good working car we could just share for the next few days.  That's right, I said had.

Yesterday on my lunch break (at 4pm) I was scarfing down some tacos and had my car in park but idling because it was 90 degrees out.  I was sitting there for maybe 5 minutes when my car started to shake and then lost power.  I thought "that was weird" and cranked it up again.  Almost immediately it died.  I was due back to work so I didn't really have time to mess with it but told my manager I needed a few extra minutes to make some calls and at least figure out how I was going to get home.  Called the husband who threw a few appropriate swear words around, called a mechanic friend and then another for a second opinion.  Meanwhile, my husband put out an all points bulletin on Facebook to try and find me a ride home.   By 6:30 three people had offered to pick me up.   One friend had offered to help my husband fix the problem - probably the fuel pump.  His shop is open on Monday and the car will most likely be towed there.  Yet another friend had actually taken the time to stop by my place of employment and change out the fuel pump relay to see if that would fix it.   It didn't work but helped us rule that out as the problem.  My husband was working until midnight and finding a ride home for him was probably going to be more difficult but within 30 minutes of another Facebook plea he had two offers. We have also had three people ask if we needed anything at the store to get us by the next couple of days. 

The more Don and I talked the more we saw God's timing in all of this.  Yes, it was inconvenient to be without both cars but at least school is out and the girls don't need to get back and forth.   With Don working the weekend, he's off Tuesday and Wednesday (which is when I go back to work).   We should have both cars back by then if everything goes as it should.  I'm supposed to go on a road trip in two weeks and I'm thankful this happened now instead of in the middle of I-40.

With today being Sunday I was afraid I wasn't going to make it to church but ended up with three offers for rides.   At church I was offered the chance to borrow two vehicles - both for as long as we need them this week.  By the time this afternoon rolled around, the loner truck was in our driveway and our anxiety level was much lower than it was 24 hours ago.  

This really could have been a difficult situation but thanks to everyone God put in our path, we are feeling overwhelmingly blessed and thankful.   There is still the question of how much of a financial strain my car repair will be but I'm not as apprehensive about that as I normally would be.  Seeing how the rest of this has fallen into place has reminded me that God is in control.   He's got this. 

My mom is...

My mom is June Cleaver
By the time I was old enough to remember things, she had put away the pearls but there are plenty of pictures of her in the 60's with the coiffed hair, pearls and a dress serving cake to 10 kids in party hats at a fabulous home birthday party.  Oh we had fabulous home birthday parties in the 70's too, just sans pearls.  She is the mom who kissed our boo-boos and could make our problems go away with just a simple kind word and a hug.  She is The Sweetest Mom Ever.

My mom is Marion Cunningham
Her house is always spotless and if anyone stops by unexpectedly she magically appears in the kitchen doorway with glasses of iced tea and cookies.  She always has sound advice (whether we acknowledge that at the time or not) and makes witty comments without even realizing it.  She had the house all the kids wanted to hang out at and all my friends called her Mom (or Disco Peg - she and the Fonz would have been able to cut quite a rug back in the day).  She is the Mom Every Kid Wants.

My mom is Elyse Keaton -
She somehow managed to juggle the lives of three kids, work a full time job, and still get the laundry done.  I have yet to figure out her secret.  She has the most compassionate heart of anyone I've ever met.  She loves her family with her entire being and will not hesitate to put us in our place or defend us fiercely, whichever we need most at the time.  She is my Mama Lion.  

My mom is Nora Walker -
She had a difficult relationship with her mom yet somehow turned that around with our family and managed to be the one we can't live without.  Motherhood is her career. Our joy is her joy.  Our pain is her pain.  She offers advice, solicited or not and most of the time she's spot on.  She is the Matriarch... the one we all turn to.  There are pictures of us all over her house - the most fabulous moments captured on Kodak paper.  She does holidays like no one else can.  She is the Super Glue of our family. 

My mom is Lorelei Gilmore -
Although not technically a single mom, she may as well have been.  My dad never learned the warm fuzzy side of life despite her best efforts.  My favorite memories are those of us making midnight runs to MegaMarket to buy cookie dough and coming home with some of the silliest gadgets (my favorite being the bag opener which was essentially a razor blade you stick on the fridge - we opened everything that could possible be opened that night with one quick swipe, laughing hysterically).   We love movies and late night chats.  We can spend hours in a Hallmark store reading cards and laughing loud enough that the whole store laughs at us.  We go to concerts, we shop, we have Oscar parties, complete with silly costumes and a red carpet lining the front hallway.  There is rarely a day that we don't talk at least twice on the phone (most days even more).   She looks at me like I am a living piece of her heart. We are carbon copies of one another.   She is my Best Friend.

 She is beautiful.  She is strong.  She is devoted.  She is supportive.  She is ditzy (just keeping is real, Mom) yet a genius. I think the blonde moments are all an act.  She is selfless.  She is constant.  She is giving.  She is understanding.  She is charming.  She is inventive.  She is my mentor.  She is nurturing.  She is forgiving.  She is kind.  She has been a mom most of her life and not just to the three of us.  She has touched so many lives with her unconditional love  (can I get an Amen?).

My mom taught me how to walk, how to talk, how to be a friend, how to keep a friend.  My mom taught me my ABC's and encouraged me to read.  My relationship with my mom has shaped every other relationship in my life.  She taught me how to laugh and how to clean my bedroom.  She taught me about Elvis, the Beach Boys, and rock n roll.   She taught me about appreciating others.   She taught me about make-up and fashion.  She did not teach me how to drive (keeping it real Mom... ).  

My mom is tool cool for words.  My mom is an original.  My mom is the most loving person on this planet.   My mom is the one who taught me the greatest lesson in life - how to love. 

My mom is Mine. 
Happy Mother's Day Mom... "I love you" just isn't enough.

It's not You, Its Me

This post is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend today, a Facebook post by my husband, and hearing the song "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi.   All three things happened within a few minutes of each other and got me thinking about break ups.  Mostly high school ones.

My very first break up was heart wrenching as first break ups often are.  We had been at a church dance and on the way home he got mad at me for flirting with another guy.  I didn't even realize I was doing it.  I'm a Gemini.  I flirt.  It meant nothing but he thought otherwise.  We remained friends but at a distance which killed me.  Thankfully years later we were able to talk about it and had some closure.  He is still a very dear friend of mine.

There was the guy in high school who I never even though would date me in the first place.  I had a bad experience at my Senior prom and was telling him about it the Monday after when he said "I would have taken you to prom if you'd asked me".  Seriously?  Wow.  That lead to a couple of months of bliss.   However I was also involved with a guy long distance and one night he said "its me or him".   I chose the long distance guy.  After I made my choice he said "I'll take you home.  I never wanted to marry you anyway."   I know those words were said out of pain and ouch did they hurt!  I also think he really did think about marrying me... I thought about marrying him too.

And then there was MT.  I met him at a church dance (not the church dance mentioned above mind you).  I was a Junior, he a Senior.  We dated for a couple of months and he even invited me to his prom.  Before prom however came the Sadie Hawkins dance.  Sadie Hawkins is where the girl asks the guy and they both wear the same shirt.  You get "married" by the old country preacher and sit on bales of hay for your picture.   I thought we had a great time.   We got in the car to go home (which was literally across the street) and he said to me "I'll call you.".   I knew right then and there he wouldn't.  I got a good laugh when I got the dance pictures and his eyes were closed.

A year later there was a knock on my door and it was him.  He apologized for being such a jerk and wanted a second chance.  Silly me gave it to him.   We went out that weekend and he brought me to meet his roommates (I was a Senior now and he had graduated).   After meeting the guys we went downtown to one of my favorite restaurants.  Just as we sat down the roommates showed up.  Just a coincidence, right?  That's what I thought.   They ate with us and then we headed back to our part of town for a movie (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure).  Bought tickets and popcorn, found a seat and then ...yep, roommates showed up and sat with us.  By this time I was getting a bit irritated.   Went to Burger King after the movie and yeah, second verse, same as the first.   Strangest date ever.  A couple of days later I get a phone call from one of said roommates.  We chatted for a few minutes and he asked if I'd like to go out that weekend.  Huh?   I said "um, I think M might not like that" to which he responded "oh, M gave me your number!"    Needless to say I never saw MT again.  Roommate and I however have remained lifelong friends.  Introducing R to me is the best thing MT ever did.

High school breakups can tear apart our hearts.  They bring tears and pain.   They mold and shape how we handle other relationships in our adult life.  With two daughters I'm glad I have these experiences to share with them one day.  I remember all of those "boys" fondly (well, maybe with one exception).   They all left a permanent mark on my heart. I think Kevin from The Wonder Years said it best - "Maybe part of loving is learning to let go. "

When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best

My name is Betsey and I'm a Hallmark-aholic. I grew up knowing that greeting cards were an important part of not only holidays but everyday life.  My mom and I have always sent cards to each other for every occasion and just because its Tuesday.  One of our favorite pastimes has been to stand in a Hallmark store and show each other funny card after funny card.   I would dare to bet we were one of the first customers to buy a Shoebox card. I can't tell you how many times members of my family have sent the same card to one another.  And yes, I keep them.  I have decorative hat boxes and I keep every card I get.  I see it as a life history... the notes that will one day help me write my memoirs.  Each card sparks a memory of a special moment or person in my life.

I've always wanted to work for Hallmark so when the opportunity presented itself in October I jumped at the chance.  I worked at an independent store for about three months and recently moved over to a Corporate store - the biggest store in the South actually.   Its like being in Heaven.  Every day my job consists of greeting people with a smile and helping them find just that perfect gift or card.  I'm a natural and it feels wonderful to do what I love.  Everyone has a story to tell and I love to listen.   My days are filled with what is called Hallmark Gold Crown Moments.  I get paid to help build relationships.  And sometimes I even get to form new relationships with my customers.  What can be better than that?!

One of my favorite customers was a woman named Sara.   I say was because she will not be able to come visit me at my new store as its across town and doesn't drive that far anymore.  The first time I ever met her she had low blood sugar and needed candy immediately.  I gave her a bar of Godiva chocolate with orange filling and I'll never forget watching her shaky hands try to open the wrapper.  She stuffed almost the whole thing in her mouth at one time and within minutes had stopped shaking.   Her husband has Alzheimer's and she only gets out when she can get a sitter for him.  She always came with a list and I would read the cards to her and help her pick just the right one for each person.  Then we had to find envelopes to match.  A card with a plain white envelope would never do.  She would pick a color in the design of the card and we would search until we found just the right shade of yellow or blue or green.  Some would call her high maintenance but in some way I think it was her way of escaping the sadness at home.  Once she picked out her cards she would always purchase whatever stuffed animal was on sale.  She had no children but the animals brought her so much joy.  Her face would just light up when she pushed the button that would make the toy sing or dance.  She came in on the very last day I was at the other store and asked me to write down my name and birthday in her calendar along with my address.  I look forward to June when I'm pretty sure I will receive my very own Hallmark card picked out by sweet Sara.  

Today was filled with many Gold Crown moments.  I helped a grandma-to-be pick out a special gift for her new granddaughter.  I got to help a man pick out thank you cards for the gals in his office.  He was giving out bonus checks and wanted to make sure they were presented in a special way.  I connected with a customer because she was wearing a Michael Buble hat and she ended up showing me a You Tube video that I am now sharing with you (pardon some of the language).  I helped a man find the perfect "happy" for his daughter who he was about to meet for an impromptu lunch.  I spent at least 20 minutes with one woman trying to help her find just the right jewelry to match a shirt she had just bought at the boutique next door.  My favorite moment today though came when my high school choir teacher came in, took one look at me and instantly recognized me (we're talking 25 years people!).   We had a wonderful chat and it was so much fun catching up with her and helping her find a gift for her 88 year old mother.  This all happened in a four hour time span.  And every single shift is like this.  I wish I could carry a notepad around and jot down the stories I hear and the moments that make me smile. 

I'm so grateful not only to have a job but to have what is literally my dream job.  I may not be saving lives or creating masterpieces but I'm touching hearts and funny bones and to me that's the greatest thing in the world. 

My proof that there is a God

I don't need proof that there is a God but some days God just makes himself known loud and clear.  Friday was one of those days for me.  I'm about to change jobs and have been quite attached to three particular customers at the current store I work for.  I had been whispering prayers since I gave my two week notice that I would be able to say goodbye to those three special people.  As of Friday, two of the three had come into the store.  The third, an older woman named Sarah, only shopped once a month because her husband has Alzheimer's and she has to have a sitter for him when she leaves the house.   I knew it wasn't likely that she would come in but around 11am, there she was.   I was so glad to see her and let her know I was moving on to bigger and better things.  She said she was sad to see me go but wanted me to take her name and number so we could stay in touch.  She said she would take my info but she loses things easily.   I always see her with her pocket Hallmark calendar which she uses to keep track of which birthday cards she needs to buy that month.  I put my contact info on the back and she made me write in my birthday as well.  Sometimes God is in the smallest of things.

Later in the work day a customer came in and looked a bit lost so I asked if I could help.  She said she needed gift bags for a wedding and baby shower.   We got the wedding stuff taken care of and then as I pointed her to the baby gift bags she said, "its for my daughter... the one who wasn't supposed to be able to have kids".  Stories like that always make me smile.  We found the perfect bags and bows and I asked if she needed a card.  She thought a second and decided it would be a good idea so I led her to that area and we began trying to find just the right card.  She had one in her hand but I handed her one more to look at just to be sure.  The sentiment on the outside was beautiful but it was the inside message that sold her and brought us both to tears.   It said "God bless you as you await your little miracle".   Sometimes God is in the smallest of things.

That night I got a phone call from my husband.  We had been awaiting some news from friends who were at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.  There was a prayer service for Cat and Paul last Sunday at church.  There is a Facebook page where people can leave messages and prayers and I've received notification after notification of just that.   We were all hoping for and honestly expecting a miracle.  I could tell by my husband's voice that something was wrong.   He said "Its definitely ALS."  My heart sank for our friends... for their children... for my husband who has become quite close to Paul in the last few years.  I was saddened by what this means for their family although I hoped the definite diagnosis would bring peace to them after so many years of simply not knowing.

Later in the evening there was this post from Paul on Facebook -

What a beautiful night tonight outside, lil chilli but nice .......... And no worries everyone this won't change me, God will prevail. The ONLY thing to do keep on keeping on. Thanks to all for there prayers, they were heard and answered. God isn't done with me yet.

And today on Facebook Cat posted this - 

So...for those that don't yet know, Paul diagnosis was confirmed to be ALS. We are doing this Paul and Cat style... That is with the peace and joy of the Lord! We know there is a plan, we aren't just privy to all of it and that is fine. The JOY comes from knowing the Lord and having such living and supportive friends and family! We are too blessed too be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!

All God asks of us is to have the faith of a mustard seed.  Cat and Paul are amazing testimonies to how when you let Him God will take care of all your needs.  All you have to do is ask and believe ... in other words, have faith.

 Yes, sometimes God is in the smallest of things.  I'm so very thankful that He is ALWAYS right there with us in the Big things too.   This is for you Cat and Paul.  We love you!!

Sisters

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison

As everyone knows by now, Oprah has a newly found half sister.  It always amazes me when family members find each other on tv and talk about how much they have in common even though they weren't raised together... everything from the way they laugh to the way they talk.   The same happened with Oprah's sister - everyone commented on the show yesterday about how much the "new" sister resembled another sister who had passed away.

I've often thought about whether I'd want to know if I had a sibling somewhere out there. I definitely would, even with the possible drama that might ensue.  My mom raised me to put family first.  Those relationships are the most important relationships I have.    I don't however have a secret sibling... that I'm sure of.   I have one brother and one sister and adore them both.   We grew up in the same household and have the same mannerisms and similar senses of humor.   We are compassionate, loving, and funny.    And alas we are each others' one and only siblings.  Well, as far as we know.  Mom??   :)

However, Oprah's story still hits close to home.  Eight years ago my ex husband called one night to tell me he had discovered that he had a new daughter which gave our five year old daughter a sister.   He waited until DNA tests were complete before announcing this news to me.   I was surprised but very open to our daughter having a relationship with her new sister.  My ex lives in another state so it was a few months before he came for a visit and took our daughter to meet the baby.    They saw her once when she was 5 months old and then again at 11 months.   After that there were some issues between the baby's mom and my ex and there was no contact for several years.

This past October they reconnected.  The girls are now 13 and 8.   The both love animals, especially tigers.   They both love to draw and have natural talent.   They have the same smile. They both love to argue for the sake of arguing.   The younger girl has the same unruly curls my daughter has outgrown.   Their reunion was not like Oprah and her sister of course.  These are children.   There was no hugging and instant acceptance.   They only know what they have been told by their parents.   The other mom and I have both said we've wondered about each other over the years and thought about trying to locate one another but weren't sure how we would be received.  Turns out we both have the same goal in mind... to let the girls hang out and slowly build a relationship with each other.   We know it will take time.    We know it will be quite a while before they think of each other as family.   That's ok.   We just want to give them the chance.