N'awlins

I ran away from home this weekend.  Actually my sister needed me.  She asked me to come and I went.  My friend Mary came along and we spent the weekend eating our way through New Orleans.  The people watching there is sublime, especially at Jazz Fest where we also watched The Eagles.  We savored beignets at Cafe DuMonde, we ate crawfish, we shopped the French Market and we tried on hats... lots of hats.  It was a whirlwind but a great escape and the memories will live on.

My mom has made Mary-Ellen and I pose like this since we were little.  Its the "We're Pals" pose and we just do it automatically now.  Note to self - gather all those pics and make a photo book.

Reunited and it feels so good

Its been a few months now since my oldest daughter and her younger sister reconnected.  What should have been a very difficult situation has instead turned out to be full of joy.  We expected the girls to need time to get to know each other and planned to ease them into the relationship.  Instead not only have we spent numerous hours as a family but the other mom and I both agree it feels like we've always been in each other's lives.

I've always been fascinated by the stories of adults who find each other after they were separated as children.  All the news stories talk about how they laugh the same, walk the same, even speak in unison.   Here's a great story about long lost siblings. 

The two girls are so very much alike, even though there is a 5 year difference.  I'm so thankful they didn't  have to wait until they were in their 30's or 40's to find each other.  The bonus part of the story is that my 6 year old feels like she gained a sister too.  All three of them talk about their sisters.   There are no halves in this story.  The three of them are whole.  One day the age gap will close and they will be able to enjoy movies and music, and probably theater together.  All three of them are animal lovers with the two older girls wanting to be vets and my youngest, a zoo keeper.  All three of them laugh with abandon.   They scrunch up their faces when they smile.  They talk with their hands.  They love to draw and dance and sing.  I can't wait to see their relationship continue to progress.  It is an adventure of the greatest kind. 

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison

Sisters

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison

As everyone knows by now, Oprah has a newly found half sister.  It always amazes me when family members find each other on tv and talk about how much they have in common even though they weren't raised together... everything from the way they laugh to the way they talk.   The same happened with Oprah's sister - everyone commented on the show yesterday about how much the "new" sister resembled another sister who had passed away.

I've often thought about whether I'd want to know if I had a sibling somewhere out there. I definitely would, even with the possible drama that might ensue.  My mom raised me to put family first.  Those relationships are the most important relationships I have.    I don't however have a secret sibling... that I'm sure of.   I have one brother and one sister and adore them both.   We grew up in the same household and have the same mannerisms and similar senses of humor.   We are compassionate, loving, and funny.    And alas we are each others' one and only siblings.  Well, as far as we know.  Mom??   :)

However, Oprah's story still hits close to home.  Eight years ago my ex husband called one night to tell me he had discovered that he had a new daughter which gave our five year old daughter a sister.   He waited until DNA tests were complete before announcing this news to me.   I was surprised but very open to our daughter having a relationship with her new sister.  My ex lives in another state so it was a few months before he came for a visit and took our daughter to meet the baby.    They saw her once when she was 5 months old and then again at 11 months.   After that there were some issues between the baby's mom and my ex and there was no contact for several years.

This past October they reconnected.  The girls are now 13 and 8.   The both love animals, especially tigers.   They both love to draw and have natural talent.   They have the same smile. They both love to argue for the sake of arguing.   The younger girl has the same unruly curls my daughter has outgrown.   Their reunion was not like Oprah and her sister of course.  These are children.   There was no hugging and instant acceptance.   They only know what they have been told by their parents.   The other mom and I have both said we've wondered about each other over the years and thought about trying to locate one another but weren't sure how we would be received.  Turns out we both have the same goal in mind... to let the girls hang out and slowly build a relationship with each other.   We know it will take time.    We know it will be quite a while before they think of each other as family.   That's ok.   We just want to give them the chance.