Where were you when the World Stopped Turning?

NEVER FORGET

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?

Everything seems so normal. But this date will never be normal. The memories are burned into my brain as clearly as when I saw the Challenger explode, as clearly as the day our school principal announced the President was shot, as clearly as the day I sat with my brother at a memorial for John Lennon. But somehow, these memories are so much harder to think about. Somehow my brain still wants to think it was all just a horrible dream that everyone I know happened to have. But it certainly wasn't a dream. It did happen. And today I feel the need to remember. My FDNY tshirt is all faded and worn out. Don bought it for me that October and all proceeds went to the Firefighters Fund. He bought one for each of us so that we could feel like we were contributing if even just in the smallest way.

I still vividly remember pulling into the parking lot at work and hearing the DJ (Ron Olson) say a "small" plane just hit the World Trade Center. I ran in and flipped on my computer so I could read about it on MSNBC and since I'm a newshound, decided to go turn on the tv in the kitchen to see if the TODAY show had better info. I stood there in horror as I watched the second plane hit. Immediately everyone realized this was NOT an accident and that certainly wasn't a commuter plane. I knew I needed to get back to my desk (I was a receptionist at the time) but it was as if my feet were made of lead. I just wanted to stand there and wait for someone to tell me it wasn't real. The phones were so quiet that day. The only calls we got were from family members and friends who had the next news report or sometimes the next rumor. I remember being terrified to go to a gas station because someone said they were attacking them with sarin gas. Kayla was three and I remember just wanting to race to the daycare and pick her up and hold her. Brian had moved to California and we were barely on speaking terms but I remember his phone call and feeling like I should be nice to him at that moment and let bygones be bygones. Don called about every 20 minutes. At that time he had a job where he was on the road most of the day so he had the radio on and was getting constant news reports. I remember the theories that other planes were in the air and that the West Coast was next. I remember that the White House was a target and suddenly they were showing the President in Louisiana about to get on Air Force One to go who knows where. Then the Pentagon was hit. And then of course Pennsylvania. I will remember that entire day for the rest of my life (as I imagine will all of you). The plane crashes were horrific but when the buildings came down, it was the worst news I'd ever heard in my life. I wonder if the terrorists knew the buildings would fall, or even considered they might. I think of all the people who were in stairwells on their way out when the walls came crumbling down around them. Its certainly one of those "Why God????" questions.

The entire day still just seems surreal. I remember finally going home that night and just sitting in front of my TV. I let Kayla fall asleep in my lap and I laid awake all night just watching the news unfold. My mom had just had back surgery so my aunt was here from California and was supposed to fly home on the 12th but of course was stuck here for another week. Those days when the planes were grounded were so odd. I remember looking up at the blue sky and not seeing anything. The first plane I saw when they started to fly again looked too low. A lot of planes look too low to me now.

Over the years I've found myself drawn to the books, the movies and documentaries. World Trade Center is an amazing film mostly about the good of that day. Remember the good? Remember how everyone was a lot nicer to others? Remember how you were proud to be an American? Remember how there were flags and red, white, and blue everywhere?

Do you remember the first time you heard laughter after 9/11? Do you remember the day when it was ok to smile again? I didn't think it would ever be ok.

God Bless America.
#WhereWereYou