I was born a "Believer". Sure my parents taught me, molded me and took me to church but I'm pretty sure there has not been one day in my life where I was not absolutely positive I am a creation of the Almighty God. Even as a teenager, in the midst of teen drama and heartache, God was always there with me. Even as an adult when my first marriage failed and I was left a single mother, not quite sure what my next step would be, God was with me. Even in 2007 when my husband was transferred to St. Louis (the girls were 9 and 2), I was battling thyroid disease, our church was falling apart, and the housing market was crashing, God was right there with me. I never had a doubt.
Imagine my surprise then when my 16 year old told me she has decided there might not be a God. I was shocked. I responded exactly as all the blogs and experts tell you not to. "Don't Panic", they say. I wondered what went wrong.... should I have made her go to church more regularly? Should I have insisted on Youth Group even though she felt uncomfortable there? How did I fail her as a parent, especially in the one category I tried so hard to make sure I mastered. I fussed rather loudly, I questioned, and yes, made her feel terrible for trusting me enough to tell me. It was a knee jerk reaction and one for which I am so deeply sorry.
This kid of mine is so fascinating. Her brain is filled with things I've never thought about. She is a deep thinker and can argue anyone about anything she feels strongly about. I on the other hand hate to argue for any reason, especially with her... she makes very valid points that are difficult to dispute with anything besides "because I'm the Mom, that's why!". She is strong and sensitive at the same time. She is a lover of music and animals. She will love fiercely the people who love her but is guarded with her heart. You are lucky to be in her circle for it is small and tight. She is a dreamer and a realist. She is my heart outside of my body. That being said, I realize she is NOT me. She has always lived to the beat of her own drum. My daughter is one of the most independent, "high spirited", ok, strong willed, passionate people I have ever met. She knows what she wants out of life and I truly believe nothing will stop her from achieving every goal she sets for herself.
Ironically, she is also my Miracle. She is one of the things in life that solidified my belief in God. You see, we tried for 2 1/2 years to have a baby. Back then they weren't so quick to offer fertility treatments but that was our next step. However in late September of 1997 I found out that I was 26 weeks, 5 days pregnant. Yes, that's almost 7 months. 10 weeks later I was holding my beautiful baby girl. I've always thought it was God's way of saying "ok my child, you've been patient, here is your baby". Good thing patience is one of my strong suits because I've needed it every day since then!
I've had a few days to process all of this now and I know its going to be ok. Not everyone is born a Believer. Not everyone who believes keeps believing. Not everyone who questions is a Non-Believer. My husband was in his 30's before he became a Christian. No my dear child, I have no physical proof I can give to you that there is a God and I know that is what you seek. I'm not sure why I don't and never have required physical proof. I realize I'm a rare breed. And again, you are not me. One of the hardest parts of being a parent is letting go enough to let your child discover their own beliefs and trust that you've done a good enough job that they aren't going to turn into a delinquent. The other times I've had to do the letting go have been easier... stuff like letting you learn not to turn on your cell phone during school or letting you struggle in a relationship without butting in too much. This one is hard for me and I hope you can respect that. But I'm trying. What I do want to say is keep asking questions. Keep reading books and blogs, listening to friends, teachers, adults you trust. Keep digging and exploring different faiths and beliefs. You have a whole long life ahead of you and I trust that you will discover whatever it is your heart is supposed to discover. I believe God has a plan for your life. I will never stop praying for you. I believe you are my living, breathing, feisty Miracle. Even if you don't believe that right now or ever, I hope you will believe that your parents will ALWAYS believe in you! We will always be here to talk, to listen, to hug, to console, to laugh with, to support you. We will always love you UNCONDITIONALLY with arms wide open. And one day, if you decide God might really be there after all, you'll see that His arms are wide open too.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Sunday, May 29, 2011
My Proof there is a God - Part 3
When I wrote the first post with that title, I didn't really intend for it to be a continual thing. However, life keeps happening and God keeps taking care of it. Case in point - my husband's car has been in the shop for almost two weeks now. He needs a new transmission which would be a huge expense for us but thankfully the shop is covering the repair... not due to warranty but due to a bunch of dishonest things they did the first time they fixed his transmission exactly two years ago. It took several days of moving up the management chain but the financial end of the deal is finally settled. They offered him a rental car as part of their deal but he turned it down because we had a perfectly good working car we could just share for the next few days. That's right, I said had.
Yesterday on my lunch break (at 4pm) I was scarfing down some tacos and had my car in park but idling because it was 90 degrees out. I was sitting there for maybe 5 minutes when my car started to shake and then lost power. I thought "that was weird" and cranked it up again. Almost immediately it died. I was due back to work so I didn't really have time to mess with it but told my manager I needed a few extra minutes to make some calls and at least figure out how I was going to get home. Called the husband who threw a few appropriate swear words around, called a mechanic friend and then another for a second opinion. Meanwhile, my husband put out an all points bulletin on Facebook to try and find me a ride home. By 6:30 three people had offered to pick me up. One friend had offered to help my husband fix the problem - probably the fuel pump. His shop is open on Monday and the car will most likely be towed there. Yet another friend had actually taken the time to stop by my place of employment and change out the fuel pump relay to see if that would fix it. It didn't work but helped us rule that out as the problem. My husband was working until midnight and finding a ride home for him was probably going to be more difficult but within 30 minutes of another Facebook plea he had two offers. We have also had three people ask if we needed anything at the store to get us by the next couple of days.
The more Don and I talked the more we saw God's timing in all of this. Yes, it was inconvenient to be without both cars but at least school is out and the girls don't need to get back and forth. With Don working the weekend, he's off Tuesday and Wednesday (which is when I go back to work). We should have both cars back by then if everything goes as it should. I'm supposed to go on a road trip in two weeks and I'm thankful this happened now instead of in the middle of I-40.
With today being Sunday I was afraid I wasn't going to make it to church but ended up with three offers for rides. At church I was offered the chance to borrow two vehicles - both for as long as we need them this week. By the time this afternoon rolled around, the loner truck was in our driveway and our anxiety level was much lower than it was 24 hours ago.
This really could have been a difficult situation but thanks to everyone God put in our path, we are feeling overwhelmingly blessed and thankful. There is still the question of how much of a financial strain my car repair will be but I'm not as apprehensive about that as I normally would be. Seeing how the rest of this has fallen into place has reminded me that God is in control. He's got this.
Yesterday on my lunch break (at 4pm) I was scarfing down some tacos and had my car in park but idling because it was 90 degrees out. I was sitting there for maybe 5 minutes when my car started to shake and then lost power. I thought "that was weird" and cranked it up again. Almost immediately it died. I was due back to work so I didn't really have time to mess with it but told my manager I needed a few extra minutes to make some calls and at least figure out how I was going to get home. Called the husband who threw a few appropriate swear words around, called a mechanic friend and then another for a second opinion. Meanwhile, my husband put out an all points bulletin on Facebook to try and find me a ride home. By 6:30 three people had offered to pick me up. One friend had offered to help my husband fix the problem - probably the fuel pump. His shop is open on Monday and the car will most likely be towed there. Yet another friend had actually taken the time to stop by my place of employment and change out the fuel pump relay to see if that would fix it. It didn't work but helped us rule that out as the problem. My husband was working until midnight and finding a ride home for him was probably going to be more difficult but within 30 minutes of another Facebook plea he had two offers. We have also had three people ask if we needed anything at the store to get us by the next couple of days.
The more Don and I talked the more we saw God's timing in all of this. Yes, it was inconvenient to be without both cars but at least school is out and the girls don't need to get back and forth. With Don working the weekend, he's off Tuesday and Wednesday (which is when I go back to work). We should have both cars back by then if everything goes as it should. I'm supposed to go on a road trip in two weeks and I'm thankful this happened now instead of in the middle of I-40.
With today being Sunday I was afraid I wasn't going to make it to church but ended up with three offers for rides. At church I was offered the chance to borrow two vehicles - both for as long as we need them this week. By the time this afternoon rolled around, the loner truck was in our driveway and our anxiety level was much lower than it was 24 hours ago.
This really could have been a difficult situation but thanks to everyone God put in our path, we are feeling overwhelmingly blessed and thankful. There is still the question of how much of a financial strain my car repair will be but I'm not as apprehensive about that as I normally would be. Seeing how the rest of this has fallen into place has reminded me that God is in control. He's got this.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
My proof there IS a God - Part Deux
I spent the weekend at the Mid-South Great Banquet. Its a 72 hour renewal weekend and I went as a guest in October of 2004. This is the fourth team I have worked on and every weekend has its own unique spirit filled moments. There are 15 talks during the weekend and after each talk we discuss in small groups and then make a poster or come up with a skit to share with the rest of the group later that evening.
Saturday's first talk was about making time to study God's Word. The speaker mentioned how there are so many resources available to us including countless Bible translations. Our table decided to do a skit. I was the owner of a bookstore and a customer came in trying to find a Bible she could understand. One of my life verses is Matthew 11:28-30 and we decided I would show the customer that verse in three different translations.
The first was the NIV which says this :
The New Century Version says this:
We completed the service and I immediately went to Missy to explain the outbursts. She chuckled and said "When I prayed this morning, those are the verses He gave to me."
Coincidence? I think not. If anyone knows when we humans need a laugh, its God.
Saturday's first talk was about making time to study God's Word. The speaker mentioned how there are so many resources available to us including countless Bible translations. Our table decided to do a skit. I was the owner of a bookstore and a customer came in trying to find a Bible she could understand. One of my life verses is Matthew 11:28-30 and we decided I would show the customer that verse in three different translations.
The first was the NIV which says this :
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”The gal playing the customer said she was really confused about why the pastor was talking about eggs in the sermon. The routine went on for several minutes. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Trust me. It was a "you had to be there" kind of moment. As we read the verse from two other versions she realized it wasn't about eggs at all.
The New Century Version says this:
28 "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. 29 Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. 30 The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light."And my personal favorite, The Message Translation, puts it like this -
28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."The next day at the closing service for the retreat, the pastor had a short message before Communion. As she started to read Matthew 11:28-30, the solemn room burst into laughter. She was REALLY confused since she had missed the poster party the night before. She stopped long enough for us to settle back down and read another verse - Galatians 5:1 which says
1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.As soon as she said yoke we cracked up again. Poor Missy. She had no idea what was so funny.
We completed the service and I immediately went to Missy to explain the outbursts. She chuckled and said "When I prayed this morning, those are the verses He gave to me."
Coincidence? I think not. If anyone knows when we humans need a laugh, its God.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
My proof that there is a God
I don't need proof that there is a God but some days God just makes himself known loud and clear. Friday was one of those days for me. I'm about to change jobs and have been quite attached to three particular customers at the current store I work for. I had been whispering prayers since I gave my two week notice that I would be able to say goodbye to those three special people. As of Friday, two of the three had come into the store. The third, an older woman named Sarah, only shopped once a month because her husband has Alzheimer's and she has to have a sitter for him when she leaves the house. I knew it wasn't likely that she would come in but around 11am, there she was. I was so glad to see her and let her know I was moving on to bigger and better things. She said she was sad to see me go but wanted me to take her name and number so we could stay in touch. She said she would take my info but she loses things easily. I always see her with her pocket Hallmark calendar which she uses to keep track of which birthday cards she needs to buy that month. I put my contact info on the back and she made me write in my birthday as well. Sometimes God is in the smallest of things.
Later in the work day a customer came in and looked a bit lost so I asked if I could help. She said she needed gift bags for a wedding and baby shower. We got the wedding stuff taken care of and then as I pointed her to the baby gift bags she said, "its for my daughter... the one who wasn't supposed to be able to have kids". Stories like that always make me smile. We found the perfect bags and bows and I asked if she needed a card. She thought a second and decided it would be a good idea so I led her to that area and we began trying to find just the right card. She had one in her hand but I handed her one more to look at just to be sure. The sentiment on the outside was beautiful but it was the inside message that sold her and brought us both to tears. It said "God bless you as you await your little miracle". Sometimes God is in the smallest of things.
That night I got a phone call from my husband. We had been awaiting some news from friends who were at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. There was a prayer service for Cat and Paul last Sunday at church. There is a Facebook page where people can leave messages and prayers and I've received notification after notification of just that. We were all hoping for and honestly expecting a miracle. I could tell by my husband's voice that something was wrong. He said "Its definitely ALS." My heart sank for our friends... for their children... for my husband who has become quite close to Paul in the last few years. I was saddened by what this means for their family although I hoped the definite diagnosis would bring peace to them after so many years of simply not knowing.
Later in the evening there was this post from Paul on Facebook -
Yes, sometimes God is in the smallest of things. I'm so very thankful that He is ALWAYS right there with us in the Big things too. This is for you Cat and Paul. We love you!!
Later in the work day a customer came in and looked a bit lost so I asked if I could help. She said she needed gift bags for a wedding and baby shower. We got the wedding stuff taken care of and then as I pointed her to the baby gift bags she said, "its for my daughter... the one who wasn't supposed to be able to have kids". Stories like that always make me smile. We found the perfect bags and bows and I asked if she needed a card. She thought a second and decided it would be a good idea so I led her to that area and we began trying to find just the right card. She had one in her hand but I handed her one more to look at just to be sure. The sentiment on the outside was beautiful but it was the inside message that sold her and brought us both to tears. It said "God bless you as you await your little miracle". Sometimes God is in the smallest of things.
That night I got a phone call from my husband. We had been awaiting some news from friends who were at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. There was a prayer service for Cat and Paul last Sunday at church. There is a Facebook page where people can leave messages and prayers and I've received notification after notification of just that. We were all hoping for and honestly expecting a miracle. I could tell by my husband's voice that something was wrong. He said "Its definitely ALS." My heart sank for our friends... for their children... for my husband who has become quite close to Paul in the last few years. I was saddened by what this means for their family although I hoped the definite diagnosis would bring peace to them after so many years of simply not knowing.
Later in the evening there was this post from Paul on Facebook -
And today on Facebook Cat posted this -
All God asks of us is to have the faith of a mustard seed. Cat and Paul are amazing testimonies to how when you let Him God will take care of all your needs. All you have to do is ask and believe ... in other words, have faith.
Yes, sometimes God is in the smallest of things. I'm so very thankful that He is ALWAYS right there with us in the Big things too. This is for you Cat and Paul. We love you!!
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