This post is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend today, a Facebook post by my husband, and hearing the song "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi. All three things happened within a few minutes of each other and got me thinking about break ups. Mostly high school ones.
My very first break up was heart wrenching as first break ups often are. We had been at a church dance and on the way home he got mad at me for flirting with another guy. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I'm a Gemini. I flirt. It meant nothing but he thought otherwise. We remained friends but at a distance which killed me. Thankfully years later we were able to talk about it and had some closure. He is still a very dear friend of mine.
There was the guy in high school who I never even though would date me in the first place. I had a bad experience at my Senior prom and was telling him about it the Monday after when he said "I would have taken you to prom if you'd asked me". Seriously? Wow. That lead to a couple of months of bliss. However I was also involved with a guy long distance and one night he said "its me or him". I chose the long distance guy. After I made my choice he said "I'll take you home. I never wanted to marry you anyway." I know those words were said out of pain and ouch did they hurt! I also think he really did think about marrying me... I thought about marrying him too.
And then there was MT. I met him at a church dance (not the church dance mentioned above mind you). I was a Junior, he a Senior. We dated for a couple of months and he even invited me to his prom. Before prom however came the Sadie Hawkins dance. Sadie Hawkins is where the girl asks the guy and they both wear the same shirt. You get "married" by the old country preacher and sit on bales of hay for your picture. I thought we had a great time. We got in the car to go home (which was literally across the street) and he said to me "I'll call you.". I knew right then and there he wouldn't. I got a good laugh when I got the dance pictures and his eyes were closed.
A year later there was a knock on my door and it was him. He apologized for being such a jerk and wanted a second chance. Silly me gave it to him. We went out that weekend and he brought me to meet his roommates (I was a Senior now and he had graduated). After meeting the guys we went downtown to one of my favorite restaurants. Just as we sat down the roommates showed up. Just a coincidence, right? That's what I thought. They ate with us and then we headed back to our part of town for a movie (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure). Bought tickets and popcorn, found a seat and then ...yep, roommates showed up and sat with us. By this time I was getting a bit irritated. Went to Burger King after the movie and yeah, second verse, same as the first. Strangest date ever. A couple of days later I get a phone call from one of said roommates. We chatted for a few minutes and he asked if I'd like to go out that weekend. Huh? I said "um, I think M might not like that" to which he responded "oh, M gave me your number!" Needless to say I never saw MT again. Roommate and I however have remained lifelong friends. Introducing R to me is the best thing MT ever did.
High school breakups can tear apart our hearts. They bring tears and pain. They mold and shape how we handle other relationships in our adult life. With two daughters I'm glad I have these experiences to share with them one day. I remember all of those "boys" fondly (well, maybe with one exception). They all left a permanent mark on my heart. I think Kevin from The Wonder Years said it best - "Maybe part of loving is learning to let go. "
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