Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones....

Gracie got to wear orange to school today for their campaign to stop bullying. Her shirt had happy faces and peace signs on it and she said they were symbols to remind everyone to be peaceful so that the school could be a happy place. I love the way that kid's mind works.

Kids can be mean. All kids. I think they don't know what kind of hurt their words can bring to another person. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? BS! I grew up with a name that rhymes with Wetsy. I had coke bottle glasses from third grade til my sophomore year. I was horrible at group sports in gym and was always that last kid picked. Typical kid stuff, right? Have you ever seen me wear my glasses in public (even though I have really cute frames now)? There was a kid who signed my yearbook in 6th or 7th grade - "To a girl with thick glasses who bruises easily". I know he thought he was being funny but I've never forgotten his words or who wrote them. There was a girl I graduated with who spread a horrible rumor about my brother and I've never forgotten her either although I smiled and made pleasant conversation with her at our reunion. There was a kid at our bus stop who was the neighborhood bully. Saw her at the reunion too and she is a wonderful person now but that reputation never leaves you. I married a man who used words against me every day (no, NOT Don) - 15 years of my life... wouldn't wish it on anyone. Those incidents left scars. I'm sure you have scars of your own. We've all said things to people that were mean. I'm sure no one is completely innocent. I'm not sure anyone comes out unscathed.

Two great ways to teach your kids about how words hurt... crumple up a piece of paper and then tell them to straighten it back out. You can do the same with emptying a tube of toothpaste onto a paper plate and telling them to put it back in the tube. You can't straighten the paper out. The wrinkles are permanent as are the words you have said to someone. Its as impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube as it is to take your words back.

Bullying is nothing new. Yes, there are new tools including the horrible things that happen on social media but kids have been mean to each other from the beginning of time. I'm glad the school is having an awareness day. However, it is up to us as adults and parents to teach the basics at home. Kindness matters. The Golden Rule is still Golden. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Period. At school, at the grocery store, at work, and by all means in your own home. We can lecture til we are blue in the face but kids learn by example. I'm not saying its easy. I'm just saying its possible. We can make the world a better place... one word at a time.

I have always taken my relationships to heart.  Be careful deciding to be my friend because once that connection is made, I'm all in.  This gets me in trouble sometimes but I don't regret it.  I'm not good at dealing with the ebb and flow of friendships and today is one of those days it has me down but I don't write this for pity.  I write so I can process thoughts and get them out of my head even if I can't make sense of them.  Nothing specific happened today to make me go down this road.  I work in a business that is all about relationships.  They intrigue me and sometimes I find myself analyzing how it all works.  People meet, they find a common denominator and strike up a conversation.  Sometimes those words turn into a true relationship and sometimes they are just a blip on the radar of passing strangers.  Its the true relationships that I struggle with.  Like I said, once I get to that point, I'm all in.  I have found that I am not the norm.  I often find myself chasing friendships and trying to save something that just isn't going to be saved in the end.  The most frustrating part is when a relationship wanes for no apparent reason.  I don't know when to give up... when to cut ties.  Maybe there are reasons but no one ever tells me because they don't want to hurt my feelings?  Walking away from the friendship with no answers is worse.  At least I could reconcile the feelings if I knew what happened.  Its funny because there are a couple of relationships I've had in the past that have rekindled and I was finally able to ask those questions and get the answers that have settled my heart.  Its hard to be a Tenderhearted Bear but its who I am.  I'm not ashamed of that.  I just wish I felt more understood sometimes.  And there are the rambly thoughts of my brain tonight.  I think I usually make more sense but tonight I just needed a clean canvas to spit up on.  Blech.