I have always taken my relationships to heart.  Be careful deciding to be my friend because once that connection is made, I'm all in.  This gets me in trouble sometimes but I don't regret it.  I'm not good at dealing with the ebb and flow of friendships and today is one of those days it has me down but I don't write this for pity.  I write so I can process thoughts and get them out of my head even if I can't make sense of them.  Nothing specific happened today to make me go down this road.  I work in a business that is all about relationships.  They intrigue me and sometimes I find myself analyzing how it all works.  People meet, they find a common denominator and strike up a conversation.  Sometimes those words turn into a true relationship and sometimes they are just a blip on the radar of passing strangers.  Its the true relationships that I struggle with.  Like I said, once I get to that point, I'm all in.  I have found that I am not the norm.  I often find myself chasing friendships and trying to save something that just isn't going to be saved in the end.  The most frustrating part is when a relationship wanes for no apparent reason.  I don't know when to give up... when to cut ties.  Maybe there are reasons but no one ever tells me because they don't want to hurt my feelings?  Walking away from the friendship with no answers is worse.  At least I could reconcile the feelings if I knew what happened.  Its funny because there are a couple of relationships I've had in the past that have rekindled and I was finally able to ask those questions and get the answers that have settled my heart.  Its hard to be a Tenderhearted Bear but its who I am.  I'm not ashamed of that.  I just wish I felt more understood sometimes.  And there are the rambly thoughts of my brain tonight.  I think I usually make more sense but tonight I just needed a clean canvas to spit up on.  Blech.