Halloween 2005

This is our sweet Strawberry Shortcake - she's 5 now with lots of Halloween costumes under her belt but this one was her very first.

I used my fail safe cat costume idea and Big Sister was Stitch.  

 

Our Father - with a twist

I love this... its so easy to say this prayer without even thinking about what we are really saying.

"Our Father which art in heaven ..."

"Yes?"

"Don't interrupt me.  I'm praying."

"But you called me."

"Called you?  I didn't call you.  I'm praying.  Our Father which art in heaven ..."

"There ... you did it again."

"Did what?"

"Called me.   You said, Our Father which art in heaven.  Here I am.  What's on your mind?"

"But I didn't mean anything by it.  I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.  I always say the Lord's Prayer.  It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done."

"All right.   Go on."

"Hallowed be thy name ..."

"Hold it!   What do you mean by that?"

"By what?"

"By ‘hallowed be thy name'?"

"It means ... it means ... good grief!  I don't know what it means.  How should I know?  It's just a part of the prayer.  By the way, what does it mean?"

"It means honored ... holy ... wonderful."

"Hey, that makes sense.  I never thought about what ‘hallowed' meant before.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Sure, why not?"

"What are you doing about it?"

"Doing?  Nothing, I guess!   I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there."

"Have I got control of you?"

"Well ... I go to church."

"That isn't what I asked you.  What about your bad temper?  You've really got a problem there, you know.  And then there's the way you spend your money ... all on yourself.  And what about the kind of books you read?"

"Stop picking on me!  I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church."

Excuse me.  I thought you were praying for my will to be done.  If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it ... like you, for example."

"Oh, all right.  I guess I do have some hang-ups.  Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others."

"So could I."

"I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things.  I would like to ... you know ... be really free."

"Good ... now we're getting somewhere!  We'll work together, you and I. Some victories can truly be won.   I'm proud of you."

"Look, Lord, I need to finish up here.  This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.  Give us this day, our daily bread."

"You need to cut out the bread.  You're overweight as it is."

"Hey, wait a minute!  What is this ... 'Criticize me day?'  Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups."

"Praying is a dangerous thing.  You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you.  You called me, and here I am.  It's too late to stop now.   Keep praying.  I'm interested in the next part of your prayer ... (pause).   Well ... go on!"

"I'm scared to."

"Scared?  Of what?"

"I know what You'll say."

"Try me and see."

"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

"What about Ann?"

"See?  I knew it!  I knew you would bring her up!  Why Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family.  She never paid back the debt she owes me.  I've sworn to get even with her!"

"But your prayer?   What about your prayer?"

"I didn't mean it."

"Well, at least you're honest.  But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness around inside, is it?

"No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even.  Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor.  She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood."

"You won't feel any better.  You'll feel worse.  Revenge isn't sweet.  Think of how unhappy you already are.  But I can change all that."

"You can?  How?"

"Forgive Ann.   Then I'll forgive you.  Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours.  You will have settled your heart."

"Oh, you're right.  You always are.  And more than I want to revenge Ann, I want to be right with you.   Ann, I want to be right with you ... (pause) ... (sigh).  Alright!   Alright!  I forgive her!  Help her to find the right road in life, Lord.   She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it.  Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it.  Someway, somehow, show her the right way."

"There now!   Wonderful!  How do you feel?"

"Hmmmm ... well, not bad.    Not bad at all.  In fact, I feel pretty great!  You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember.   Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest."

"You're not through with your prayer.  Go on."

"Oh, all right.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

"Good!  Good!   I'll do that.  Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted."

"What do you mean by that?"

Don't turn on the TV when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up.   Also, about the time you spend having coffee with your friends ... if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should re-think the value of those friendships.  Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up with."  And please don't use me for an escape hatch."

"I don't understand the last part."

"Sure you do.   You've done it a lot of times.  You get caught in a bad situation.  You get into trouble and then you come running to me.  "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again."  You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?"

"Yes and I'm ashamed, Lord.   I really am."

"Which bargain are you remembering?"

"Well, there was the night that Bill was gone and the children and I were home alone.  The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out.  I remember praying, 'Oh God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again."

"I protected you, but you didn't keep your promise, did you?"

"I'm sorry, Lord.  I really am.  Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked.  I didn't expect anything to happen like it did."

"Go ahead and finish your prayer."

"For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.  Amen."

"Do you know what would bring me glory?  What would really make me happy?"

"No, but I'd like to know.   I now want to please you.  I can see what a mess I've made of my life.   And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers."

"You just answered the question."

"I did?"

"Yes.  The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me.  And I see that happening between us.  Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there is no telling what we can do together."

"Lord, let's see what we can make of me, okay?"

"Yes, let's see."

A Picture is worth a Thousand Words

When I took this picture, it was the first time I thought I might really be able to take pictures for a living.   I still see that as my goal although it seems it will be a while.  I know nothing about starting a business let along nothing about shooting on manual.  I need to take a class but when am I supposed to do that?   Talk to me again when the kids are raised.  *sigh*

My love-hate relationship with Facebook

I have a ridiculous amount of Facebook friends.   At last count I was up to 819.   How on earth you ask can anyone keep up with 819 people???  Or why would anyone care to keep up with 819 people???   I've been thinking about that a lot and decided to go through my list and see if there was some deleting that needed to be done.   I got all the way to the G's before I quit.   Everyone from A-G is there for a very valid reason.   I have school friends, church friends, out of town friends, moms of my kids' friends' friends, work friends, and long lost friends.   Yes, I am the one who "friends" the person I haven't seen since preschool... hey, we had big plans to marry and honeymoon in Hawaii and at Disneyworld!  You can't just shove those childhood dreams to the wayside.   Ok, maybe you can.  But I choose to fondly remember.  And technically we were in third grade the last time we saw each other.  He and his family were on their way home from vacation and buzzed through our town for the day.   He and I had a beautiful candlelit spaghetti dinner and went to see Superman - yes, the original with Christopher Reeve.  And we may not have Hawaii or Disneyworld but at least we have Facebook.

I just had my 20 year class reunion last September so about 25% of my friends list is made up of old classmates.   Yes, that still leaves about 600 people I know from random walks of life.  What can I say?  My mom said I was born with a smile on my face.  I used to say I'm friends with everyone but no one in particular (meaning I was never in a clique... just kind of bounced around from group to group).  I've met a lot of people in 39 years and my friendships mean a lot to me.  If you have been a part of my life for some amount of time, chances are, you're one of my 819.  I love Facebook.  Facebook makes it easy to keep in touch, know when new babies come along, know when birthdays are (although I have to say I was pretty good with the birthday thing before the days of Facebook and I greatly miss snail mail birthday cards).  Facebook feeds our natural human need for acceptance, our need to fit in somewhere.   Yes, in some ways its just the easy way to feel in touch even though there might not be any personal interaction for months.  If I had to guess I'd say at least half and probably even a bigger percentage of my 819 aren't even active on Facebook.  They have profiles and occassionally someone tags them in a picture.   Oh and of course on their birthday their page lights up like the Fourth of July.   So why do I keep them on my list?   Just in case.   Maybe I'll have an important memory to share with them one day.   Maybe I'll have a picture to tag them in.

And that brings me to the hate part.  If I don't check two or three times a day I miss posts.   If I take a whole day off I could very well miss a birthday.   As you can imagine, with 819 friends, its someone's birthday most every day.  And oh the guilt when I see a "Thanks for all the birthday wishes" post and I haven't posted a wish.  Do I really think anyone notices that I personally did not post?  Probably not.   Do I think anyone is annoyed with me for not clicking "like" on the latest You Tube video they posted or the latest baby picture?  Nah.   Do I always post a greeting on someone's page when the Facebook gods suggest I reconnect?  No.  But do I check Facebook obsessively if I've updated my status to see who likes it?   You bet your bottom dollar I do!   Do I post pictures for the pure feedback I hope I'll get?   Of course!   And that my friends is why I hate Facebook - because it reminds me how much I need to be connected to others.   It reminds me how much I miss so many close relationships  - people I now only see through photos they are tagged in.  And it reminds me most of all that I'm just a mere human with a heart that needs to be loved, an ego that needs to be stroked, and a need to fit in somewhere.   I want to be liked.  I want to be remembered.   I want to make a mark on someone's life.   Every human does but its not easy to admit.   

To my 819, thank you for being a friend.

Crying Part Deux

I did it... I cried yesterday.  It wasn't a big long cleansing kind of cry but real tears fell from my eyes and it was a nice feeling although not for a nice reason.  I feel like I've begun to at least crack the shell a bit.  My oldest is visiting her dad for the summer in CA.  She's been gone for 2 weeks and still has 6 weeks until she comes home.   I was missing her like crazy yesterday and mustered up some tears.   Its important that she gets to spend this time with her dad and his family.  They go to ballgames and camp at the beach and she bonds with her cousins.  But, it kills me.  I'm used to her chattering 24/7 and driving her little sister crazy and opening the fridge every 30 minutes because she's STAAARVING!  Instead we have the same snacks in the fridge we had two weeks ago minus a yogurt or two.  The 5 year old is bored silly and making me play Littlest Pet Shop all the live long day.  Its been 100 degrees here for two weeks straight with a heat index of 105-110 so we can't even really just get outside and play.   And after the little one falls asleep there is just quiet in the house.   I need the sounds of Adam Lambert blasting from my daughter's room ... What Do You Want From Me.... over and over and over and OVER again.   There's not even any fight to listen to certain music in the car.  I know all too soon she'll be home and school will start and we'll be dragging ourselves out of bed at 5:30am and arguing about computer time at night but for now its all too peaceful and I don't like it one bit!

Why I Talk to Strangers

I sat next to a young woman on a plane last week but we didn't speak.   I'm one of those people who would love to hear your life story but I know not everyone feels that way.   When we landed in Dallas I had a text from my husband saying my flight home had been delayed.   I turned to the gal next to me and asked if she was staying in Dallas or moving on somewhere and she said she was going to Memphis.  I let her in on the bad news and next thing you know we're chatting like we're long lost friends.   We took the shuttle to the next terminal together and grabbed some dinner while killing time. She's expecting her first child so we chatted about babies and men and God and life choices in general.  By the time we checked into the gate, we were hoping we could get two seats together.  We politely begged the gate agent but that didn't work out.  I did give her my card and we are now Facebook friends.  I just wish we hadn't been so polite and respectful of each other's space on the first flight! It sure would have made that first flight a lot more fun!

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go (Passion '06)

This is my current ringtone. I'm not sure I'll ever change it. The song resonates in my head whenever I'm having a tough day.